Lauren Mathues

My Story

As a child, I always imagined I would be married and have kids. Lots of children have that default about what life will be like when the grow up.  And, while I had plenty of crushes in school, I don’t remember anyone telling me how I might meet a person to marry. I assumed that sometime in or shortly after college, I would marry someone great and be a family. Later, we would have kids. Easy peasy.

But college graduation came and went and still no eligible bachelor was on my horizon. I got jobs and changed jobs, joined churches and switched churches, had fun and hung out with friends. I learned what I like to do and forged some life-long friendships. It wasn’t until I moved back home to be near family after my dad died that I realized nothing was going to just happen by itself. I took a good, hard look at the state of the world — how dating had changed since I was in college, the rise of dating sites, dating in the US as a black woman. I also took a good hard look inside myself. I read a lot of books and had good conversations with my friends and family. I prayed a lot. I knew I wanted to get married. That was my goal, and I was starting to piece together some of the reasons it may have been going differently than I thought it would.

But I’ll never forget when I made a vital discovery about myself. I was sitting in Barnes and Noble reading a book about dating when in walks a beautiful man. The next thing I knew, I was at the door of the store with keys in hand, making an exit to my car. Why? Because a hot guy — the kind of guy I would love to go out on a date with — walked into Barnes and Noble. I’ll never forget this because it was a turning point in my journey. I realized that part of the problem was that I was literally running away (okay, speed walking, but still…) from what I said I wanted. 

What ensued was a journey that led me to greater self-awareness, clarity in my desires, and clearly defined things I could do to get me there. There were plenty of challenges along the way. I learned lessons the hard way. Many tears were shed, but many joys were received as well. I might not have been able to hurry love up, but I was doing everything in my power to be ready when it showed up.

And eventually, it did. I met and married the most wonderful and most unexpected man. He wasn’t recognizable on my vision board, but he was most certainly there, and he showed up in real life. Together, we are building a life that I cherish. We are raising our two sons and loving and living through the joys and pains of real life. 

Our sons will date in a world even more different than the one my husband and I navigated to find each other. I keep abreast of how things are changing and provide meaningful strategies to parents and church leaders as they provide their children and parishioners guidance in a world that has never existed before. 

And I do it all with kindness and compassion. I am so glad you are trusting me to help you on your journey.